missing manong

today is the first death anniversary of manong gilbert perez, my first director.

i miss you, manong...

buti na lang may MPD ako...

that's multiple personality disorder. madalas kasi nila ako biruin noon, na ang dami ko personalities. nakikipag-away pa nga ako sa sarili ko. oo, inaamin ko... i have different personalities... madalas ko kausapin sarili ko, at sinasagot ko naman. baliw nga ata ako. pero this comes in handy whenever im writing a script. kasi di maiiwasan magkasabay ang dalawang script. so pagkatapos ko maging 14-year-old girl na tanga sa pag-ibig, magiging astig na babaeng pulis ako o kaya hitad na mang-aagaw ng dyowa ng best friend. syempre magkakaiba ng ugali ang mga iyun...

***

hindi ako nagrereklamo, nagkukuwento lang... pero last week, slept only for one hour, tapos 35 hours akong gising at nagsusulat... siyet. mahilo-hilo na ako... hindi ako naliligo, hindi kumakain ng matino... kasi kailangan mag-submit. kailangan magsulat. kailangan tapusin ang script na madaliang pina-revise. at nagkasabay-sabay pa...

again, di ako nagrereklamo... nagkukuwento lang.

song of the moment: again by lenny kravitz -- sana pumayag silang ito ang gamiting song noong dalawang bida na nagkakilala sa internet.

question of the day: what did you have to give up to be where you are now? --> facebook status ni direk joey last week. ang dami nag-react. mga artista iyong iba. nakakalungkot ang mga sagot nila. napaisip ako... ano ginive up ko to be where i am now? times with my family. andito parents ko from the US pero di ko masyado na-enjoy kasi busy ako sa pagsusulat. alis na uli sila bukas pabalik davao... hai... trade-offs. kayo, what did you have to give up to be where you are now?

what i learned recently: may kapalit ang lahat ng bagay.

draft four now. hindi naman major revisions. keri lang. it's something i enjoy writing and revising. nadadala ko nga lang minsan sa totoong buhay iyong kamalditahan ng character ko. may ka-chat akong friend kanina, tinarayan ko. sabi sa akin, para daw akong si rubi.

***

was in ER last sunday. four days na kasi akong nilalagnat. masakit ang ulo. and then noong sunday, right after barcy and i went to george n cecil taping, bigla akong sumuka sa bahay. and then nag-chills. dan and jan decided to bring me to ER, kahit ayoko. ayun, three hours kami sa makati med.

cute iyong doctor. ang charming. hirit sa akin, "wala naman chance na buntis ka?" sana pala sinagot ko, "may chance ba kung ikaw ang maging tatay?" wala siyang singsing... single. alam ko full name. ma-stalk nga sa facebook! bwahahaha.


so ano sakit ko? di ko matandaan exactly. basta it has something to do with stress and toxic and something else.

***

nahihilig na ako sa oatmeal lately. realized it's not that bland. four days na. good for the heart pa ;)

***

may kapatid na si nico... acer aspire one. kulay red. ang liit. ang gaan. ang saya... ano kaya ipapangalan ko... scarlet o rubi? hehehe

aylavet

huwaw. they liked the script. "ok na sa akin to, wala akong comments." parang gusto ko umiyak at yakapin ang mga directors ko...

***

a new character arrives sa week four ng katorse... i love his character. mas lalo ko siyang minahal when i learned who's going to play the role. aylavet.

at para sa character nya ang song of the moment ko: ang the man who can't be moved ng the script.

song of the moment: some try to hand me money they don't understand / i'm not broke, i'm just a broken-hearted man / i know it makes no sense but what else can i do / how can i move on when i've been in love with you - the man who can't be moved, the script

quote for the day: "every problem that comes to you has a message from God," sermon ng pari kanina.

what i learned recently: kapag hindi ka na natatakot na makasalubong o makita unexpectedly ang ex mo, that means nakapag-move on ka na kasi wala ka na pakialam sa iisipin o sasabihin niya. aylavet!

:(

saying goodbye is really painful. it is never easy ending something. lalo na kung angtagal na ng pinagsamahan nyo...

in my case... three years and four months. i was there when it started... biro nga sa akin, timon daw ako doon. for three years, i've seen people come and go. may mga umalis. may mga bumalik. may mga nawala.

relationships were formed. bonded with people. established remarkable friendships.

pero ganoon yata talaga. darating sa point na kailangan mo na pumili. it was difficult pero kailangan... hindi ko alam kung tama ang ginawa kong pag-iwan para piliin ang isang bagay na walang kasiguraduhan. hindi ko alam kung makakabalik pa ako. o kung tatanggapin pa nila ako. baka by the time na ready na ako bumalik, hindi na nila ako matatanggap.

pero angdami ko na ni-risk. nagawa ko na ito two years ago when i chose abs-cbn over my corporate job in a stable company.

and now, i took another risk -- i ended a three-year love affair with a show.

mami-miss ko ang mga tao doon. mami-miss ko ang lock in. ang batuhan ng ideas. mami-miss ko ang pagsusulat doon.

but all good things must come to an end. may shelf life ang lahat ng bagay. salamat sa three years of wonderful learning experience.

ang dasal ko na lang, Lord, bahala ka na sa akin... :)

remake

ang challenge sa pag-gawa ng remake ay ang pressure na pantayan o higitan ang original na palabas.

at kung ang original na palabas ay maraming fans na alam ang talagang kuwento nito, asahan mong mapipintasan nila bawat pagbabagong gagawin mo sa kuwento...

ngayon pa lang, sinasabi ko na, may mga pagbabagong mangyayari, may mga papalitan, may mga mawawalang character at may mga madadagdag...

pero gagawin namin ang lahat na siya pa rin ang bidang mamahalin at kakainisan nyo...

starting tonight, i need to think like a bida-kontrabida... this is it!

***

last night, i was writing nene's story. sa meeting pa lang, i volunteered to write day two na. sabi ko, bagay sa akin iyun.... binigay naman sa akin...

and true enough, finished day two immediately... tumigil lang ako sandali para umiyak. ang weird ko... umiiyak while writing a script. siguro dahil na rin sa mga songs na pinapatugtog ko while writing it -- i can't make you love me. the art of letting go. someday. i don't wanna be your friend. i didn't mean to make you mine. until i get over you. broken-hearted me. sino ba naman hindi maiiyak diyan?

habang tumigil ako sa pagsulat para umiyak, i realized... today is june 12. three years na... happy independence day... to me!

the letter E

kapag hindi ka mahal ng taong mahal mo, ikaw iyong letter E sa word na LOVE. nandiyan ka pero hindi pino-pronounce.

it was just a forwarded text message pero ang daming naka-relate noong nilagay ko sa FB. napakarami bang letter E sa mundo?

***

am watching you've got mail on hbo right now. i have seen this movie several times before but whenever i'd catch it on cable, i'd still watch it...

i remember 10 to 9 years ago, i met someone online. he was a law student then. we hit it off really well. we were exchanging emails, parang si shopgirl at si ny152 sa movie. kung anu-ano lang pinag-uusapan namin. until we became text mates. we'd talk about music, movies, tv shows... we'd talk about our lives... the exchange lasted for more than a year before we finally agreed to meet.

no, i wasn't thinking he could be the tom hanks in my life... but while watching the movie again, ang dami ko na-realize.... isa na doon...tumatanda na ako...

noong bata pa ako, ang yabang ko pa... "i am single by choice." ang dami kong inaayawan. ang dami kong pinalampas. ayoko sa kanya kasi: he wears yellow socks. he has p-f deficiency. he is boring. he looks like balut.

when i was younger (and several pounds lighter), strangers would approach me sa bar to talk to me, and ask for my name and my number. may isa pa nakipag-usap sa akin habang kumukuha ako ng tissue paper sa sm megamall at sinabing i look familiar. his line was "i never forget a face..."

and then suddenly, i wake up one day and im in my 30s na.

i'm not saying nagsisisi ako sa mga lalakeng pinalampas ko. it's just that, sometimes, you have to give someone another chance. hindi iyong biglang mong i-di-dismiss dahil may nakita kang mali....

now, natuto na ako...

***

everytime i get to watch you've got mail.... lagi akong nakaka-relate sa line dun na

"is there someone else?"
"no. but there's a dream of someone..."

tiyempong kapag napapanood ko... meron akong "dream of someone..."

pero no expectations whatsoever. one day at a time. basta nangingiti lang ako. period. :)

song of the moment: anyone at all - OST ng you've got mail.

quote for the day: "i wanted it so much to be you," meg ryan to tom hanks in you've got mail.

what i learned recently: everyone deserves a second chance

indescribable

iba talaga ang pleasure na nakukuha ko sa tuwing nakakatapos ako ng script. hindi ko ma-explain.

woke up at 12 noon. ate lunch and then wrote 24 sequences of katorse script in four hours. naligo. nagpahinga. nag-dinner. nanood ng american idol. natulog for one hour. and then hinarap ang george and cecil script na may 31 sequences around 11pm, while watching snn. finished the script around 3am.

two scripts in one day. parehong deadline ng friday. iyong isa nasubmit ko ng thursday. iyong isa, friday ng madaling-araw. isang tungkol sa nabuntis at 14. isang tungkol sa mag-asawang nagta-try magka-baby. isang drama. isang comedy. parehong ipapalabas sa june.

the best part in writing the script: when i am typing these six letters: THE END.

wow...

na-o-overwhelm ako sa mga nangyayari... mixed emotions. masaya. ninenerbyos. excited. anxious. hindi ko ma-explain. basta... ambilis ng mga pangyayari. nakakatakot. nakakatuwa. parang hindi kapani-paniwala...

pero siyempre, may kapalit iyun.. puyat. pagod. pawis. pero keri lang... isn't this what i've always dreamed of? isn't this why i quit my stable job in the corporate world?

sabi ko nga sa facebook ko noong isang araw, "good things come to those who wait. but better things come to those who seize the day..." kaya go! go! go!

sa June na... abangan!

song of the moment: "i'm so excited... and i just can't hide it..." - sheena easton nga ba ito? hindi ko sure :)

quote for the day: good things come to those who wait. but better things come to those who seize the day.

what i learned recently: malalaman niyo rin sa mga susunod na araw :)

the boys are coming to town...

among the seven, i love enchong dee the most. maybe because he starred in one of my most favorite your song episodes (tulak ng bibig, kabig ng dibdib with empress schuck directed by joyce bernal), or maybe because he made me cry several times in his scenes as jhun in my only hope, or maybe because in one of the parties that i attended and he was there, he approached me and kissed me and he remembered that a couple of months before, i presented the story of my only hope to the cast.

or siguro dahil na-impress na rin ako noong nagkuwento siya tungkol sa buhay niya... he has always been a good boy. a follower of rules. taga-sunod sa mga tao who make decisions for him -- his parents, his coach, his manager...

he's an actor. a champion swimmer. an honor student. may social awareness. magalang na bata. eager to learn. magaling umarte.

yes, i love enchong the most. sana huwag siyang magbago. sana poreber siyang maging mabait.

this will be his third your song episode. and sabi ko, sa lahat ng episodes niya, ako ang writer. sabi niya, lahat daw ng your song episode niya, pinapahirapan siya... pero enjoy naman siya.

third time ko na rin magsulat for dino imperial and for aj perez. kasama si dino sa enchong-empress episode. tapos iyong "imposible" with aj, lauren and empress. si aj naman, sa imposible, tapos sa underage. and then here. sabi nya sana daw after boystown kunin siya uli para back-to-back-to-back na your song siya. your song presents aj perez na iyun.

makulit si dino. siya ang kuya ng group. maingay kaya akala mo mayabang. i got to know dino personally during the audition for george and cecil. sobrang traffic and he came from school (csb) and guess what... nag lrt at mrt sya papuntang abs. heto ang mas matindi, noong tinatawagan na siya to ask where he was -- nasa tricycle daw! dino imperial taking the tricycle to abs!!! wow.

love ni direk joey si dino. kaya nga he was auditioning for a role, ang binigay sa kanya, iyong bigger role. kasi, magaling siya.

si aj naman, he takes his craft seriously. sa underage storycon, tahimik lang siya pero sa boystown storycon, lumapit pa siya sa akin to ask more questions about his character. "anong movie kaya ang dapat ko panoorin para peg ng character ko?" he asked.

earlier this year, pinakilala sa akin ng isang friend si robi domingo. nag-mano sa akin ang mokong. mao-offend sana ako pero he does that to everyone pala as a joke... nagmamano. he was supposed to be in underage pero his schedules wouldn't allow him.

sa storycon ng boystown, he listened intently... ina-absorb ang character niya. and during tapings, he'd ask me kung ano feedback ni direk or ng mga tao sa acting niya.

malambing si robi. he loves to hug. pero ilang beses ko na siya sinisita dahil lagi niya pinag-iinitan ang bilbil ko. noong bumisita kami sa taping, pinipisil niya ang bilbil ko and called them "love handles." sabi ko nga para naman akong buddha na hinihimas ang tiyan para suwertehin.

sa tuwing magkikita kami sa abs, he'd talk to me using the lines from his scripts, lines that i wrote for him. todo emote pa!

this is my first script for arron villaflor, chris gutierrez and sam concepcion. first meeting namin ni arron, na-imbyerna ako dahil he called me "tita!" sina enchong nga, "ate noreen" ang tawag sa akin tapos si arron, "tita!" bakit, ilang taon ba siya, 10 years old? pero inisip ko na lang, likas lang talaga siguro siyang magalang... wala akong personal encounter with him pero sabi ng isang staff, siya daw ang pinakamabait sa gigger boys.

during the storycon, sa kanilang lahat, si chris lang ang lumapit to say "thank you... i love my role." he said he'd want to do something like that. he loves his character daw and excited na siyang mag-taping. grasyoso siyang bata.

pansin ko din na sobrang close niya with aj and dino. so close na he was so honest to say na dino is like is and dino is like that, sa harap ni dino at ng ibang tao.

wala si sam sa storycon. wala din siya sa immersion/workshop. kaya sa kanilang pito, siya ng "hindi ko super kilala." pero during the presscon, noong sinasabihan ng staff na pumasok na ang gigger boys sa loob, si sam ang unang sumunod. nakaupo na siya sa loob while the rest, nasa labas pa, nagkukulitan. kaya noong pumasok ako sa holding area, siya pa lang ang nandoon. "hello po" he told me. kahit hindi niya ako kilala. kahit hindi niya alam na isa ako sa writers, he still greeted me. i smiled at him and said, "wala ka sa storycon saka sa workshop" and then i told him na isa nga ako sa writers ng show.

among the seven, i love enchong the most. but i love them all....

this may 10, catch enchong dee as arnel, the champion swimmer and "kuya" ng boystown; robi domingo as arkin, the rich boy who doesn't appreciate what he has; aj perez as ricky, the one who ran away from home because he was abused; arron villaflor as raul, the siga ng todo na napadpad sa boystown; dino imperial as chad, the delinquent bully and chris gutierrez as brent, the silent but dangerous guy who is actually insecure.

one time, direk lino heard me saying na ang pinaka-favorite your song episode ko ay iyong kay angelica panganiban at zanjoe marudo. he asked, "ang boystown, di mo paborito?" i told him, "hindi ko pa nakikita eh..."

kahit hindi ko pa napapanood ang boystown... masasabi ko, this has become a personal favorite... because of the gigger boys. :)

watch kayo ha....

angdaming boys...

the boys are coming to town on may 10... catch enchong dee, robi domingo, dino imperial, sam concepcion, aj perez, arron villaflor and chris gutierrez, collectively known as the gigger boys, in your song presents boystown. directed by lino cayetano, this is based on the 1981 movie of marilou diaz abaya and jose javier reyes which starred william martinez, gabby concepcion and edgar mande.

nood kayo ha! :)

naalala ko lang...

sa set ng george and cecil, habang pumapatay ng oras, i was reading tarot cards to my co-writers barcy and bebeth.

judy ann walked behind me, touched my shoulder and said, "hulaan mo din ako."

i looked up at her, smiled and joked, "nararamdaman ko na ikakasal ka sa april."

she was surprised for a second or two and then she laughed.

best wishes, juday and ryan!