Thursday, May 31, 2007

sinong bespren mo doon?


she wasn't my first best friend, but she has been my friend since we were 8. that means ching and i have been friends for more than twenty years now... 24 years, to be exact.

ching and i met when we were in grade two. after class, pumupunta si ching sa bahay namin dahil nakatira kami sa harap ng school. naglalaro lang kami or nanonood ng TV habang hinihintay niya ang sundo niya.

one time, nakita namin ang aming crush na si arnold, nag-aabang ng jeep. pumunta kami sa kwarto sa 2nd floor, umakyat sa double deck na bed at lumapit sa bintana. tinawag namin si arnold and when he looked up, tinaas namin ni ching ang aming mga skirts. bwahahahaha. bata pa lang, malandi na. :P

***

i never thought ching and i would be best of friends in high school. she was one of the popular girls -- maganda, matalino, achiever, active sa mga extra-curricular activities, crush ng bayan. she could be friends with girls like her pero hindi, she stayed with me, someone who was notorious for being palaaway.

looking back, i understand now why we became good friends. kasi pareho kaming pranka. pareho kaming maingay. pareho kaming mataray. pareho din kaming gaga when it comes to love. mula noon, hanggang ngayon, pareho kaming siraulo. ;)

one of the fondest memories i have with ching was hanging out with her in the airport’s runway in davao. she lived in a village near the airport and whenever i would visit her at home, she would bring me to the runway. we would spend the whole afternoon talking about anything, while watching airplanes take off and land in front of us.

one time, napagtripan namin tumawid sa runway. naglalakad kami sa gitna, until narinig namin na may parating na eroplano. siyempre, takbo kami. eh ang lapad pala ng runway. parang anlayo na ng natakbo namin pero di pa rin kami umaabot sa kabilang side. i will never forget that experience kasi nakita ko talaga kung gaano na kalapit ang eroplano sa amin. paano kung nadapa pa isa sa amin while crossing? paano kung nasagasaan kami ng eroplano???

several years after, off limits na ang runway sa mga residente doon at nilagyan na nila ng matataas na bakod. hmmm... bakit kaya? hehehe

***

i can say that without her, i wouldn't be the same person that i am right now. totoo nga pala na iyong high school, iyon ang magde-define kung paano ka in the future. and ching was instrumental in bringing out the best in me.


she was the one who encouraged me to fight for what i want (read: kunsintidora, hehehe). she saw my potentials and believed in my capabilities. words are not enough to describe the kind of friend that she was. gusto ko rin isipin na naging mabuting best friend din ako sa kanya noong high school.

sabi niya noon, ako daw ang diary niya kasi sa akin niya kinukuwento lahat. marami kaming secrets ni ching na hindi alam ng ibang barkada namin. sa sobrang kilala na namin ang isa't isa, kahit hindi siya magsalita, alam ko na what she was feeling.


***

we were having mixed feelings during our high school graduation because we knew we would be going on our separate ways. aalis na kasi ako ng davao noon for college. after how many years of being together, parang ang hirap na hindi na kami magkasama. we were the best of friends from first year to fourth year. how would we survive college without each other?

she gave me a letter that said, "i can't imagine life without you. how will i ever survive without you? i love you." until now, nakatago pa rin ang letter na iyon. a reminder that we did survive without each other. and our separation actually brought out the best in us.

***

ching and i have been friends for more than twenty years now. we weren't there for each other when we had our first relationship, and our first break up. but these were all documented in the exchange of snail mails and voiced tape (nyak, diyahe!). thank god for the advent of e-mails, ym and text messages, sharing about the momentous events in our lives became easier and more frequent.


although the thrills of first kiss and the pain of first break up were just shared through letters and phone calls, kapag nagkikita naman kami once a year, it was as though kahapon lang when we last saw each other. walang katapusang kwento... stories that changed from the terror college professors to horrendous bosses to abusive lovers.


i remember the innocent years we spent in the confines of the catholic school where we would blush at the mere mention of taboo words like "sex" and "virginity," yet would whisper about a certain page in sidney sheldon's novel. na-iskandalo na kami noon sa mahabang kissing scene ni lotlot at monching sa pelikulanag "tiyanak," at kinikilig kami kay jason priestley at luke perry. grabe, ang layo na namin dun ngayon. now we talk about annulment, pregnancy and contraceptions even in a fastfood, and discuss business investments, career paths and plans to travel over tea or coffee.

yes, we are no longer the same giggly teen-agers who relied on each other for strength and support, who thought we couldn't survive without each other. a lot of things have happened since ching and i dared to cross the runway when we were 13. we've gained experiences that enriched our lives -- we fell in love, we had our hearts broken, she got married, gave birth and survived a failed marriage.

we've had our share of triumphs and failures, and people walked in and out of our lives yet through the years, one thing has remained constant -- and that is our friendship.

although distance hinders us from being together, we still run to each other to bring our broken hearts and broken dreams for fixing. we talk about our anxieties over missed deadlines and missed periods and of our plans of killing the bastards who made our lives miserable.

***

“ganun ka na ba ka desperada sa lalake at pumapayag ka sa ganyan?" this was just one of the hurtful things she said the night i confessed to her everything about sb last december. ito na ng ang pinaka-mild, iyong iba, dapat nang i-censor, hehehe. pero tinanggap ko kasi i knew she was telling the truth. and only a real friend can tell those words, even if she knows na masasaktan ako...
twelve hours after, she confronted sb and called him names like walang kwenta, buwiset, at nagte-take for granted sa sitwasyon. she also told him, "even if norin is like that, she deserves to be respected and feel her worth...and not panandaliang aliw lamang."

a few months after, i would be the one telling her to "let go, move on, tama na... for your own sanity, leave!"

***

ching and i are in the same boat now – trying to get through an emotional upheaval, trying to forget guys who gave us our worst heartaches, and trying to move on with our lives. ang freaky nga ng parallelism ng buhay naming ngayon. magnified version lang iyong sa kanya.

whenever she's hurting, she may come running to me every now and then but between us, she’s the stronger one. sabi ko nga, di ko kaya ang mga pinagdaanan niya. lalo na ngayon. kapag nagsisimula na naman akong ma-depressed, iniisip ko na lang, mas grabe ang pinagdadaanan ni ching, pero nakakaya niya…
i told her na isa siya sa strongest persons na nakilala ko. but last april, she said pagod na sya magpaka-strong. for once, she wanted to be weak. and i let her be... she's human, after all.

and as she turns 32 today, i wish her only one thing: to be happy. because with what she has been through, she deserves to have all the happiness in the world. although hindi pa niya nakukuha iyong wish niya ngayon, i just want to share this quote that i got from paulo coelho, “til one morning i'll wake up and find im thinking about something else, and then i'll know the worst is over. my heart may be bruised but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more. it happened before, it will happen again im sure, when someone leaves, it’s because someone is about to arrive… i'll find love again.
***
a few months ago, i sent ching the mp3 and lyrics of rascal flatts' my wish (thanks to mama lhen). and for her birthday, ito pa rin ang wish ko....

My Wish
Rascal Flatts
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more than you take.

4 comments:

G said...

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! NORIN...advance ke cheryl! hehehehe (sa may3108)

kHitee` said...

Awww.. Parang ganyan kami ng bestfriend ko ah. Hai.. I miss my bestfriend. ΓΌ

BabyPink said...

aaaww. i always like reading stories about good friendship.:)

hello miss noringai! it's been a long time. i'm really happy that i've finally had the time to visit my usual daily reads back when i still had net access in my room.

:)

noreen said...

khitee, hehe so pareho din kayong baliw?

babypink, oi, long time nga! :)