Friday, June 8, 2007

getting over getting dumped...

natawa ako kanina kasi my site stats said na may napadpad sa blog ko after niya mag-search ng "mahirap nga ba mag-move on?" sa google. sana may napala naman siya, kung sino man siya. pero para naman may saysay ang pagkapad-pad ng mga tao dito, itong entry na ito ay tungkol sa librong nabasa ko, ang "bittergirls: getting over getting dumped." gusto ko lang i-share ang mga natutunan ko. para sa mga katulad ko na trying to move on ang drama. sa mga naloko, nilaglag, nagpauto at nagpakatanga sa mga lalake...

funny ang libro, sobra. tapos ang dami mo rin matututunan... heto nga, pinagtiyagaan ko isulat ang mga passages na naka-relate ako, at am sure makaka-relate din ang mga tao...

Getting dumped is painful, ugly and lonely. It turns bright, articulate women into sobbing, snot-covered, mascara-streaming wrecks. It makes even the most fabulous woman question herself.

No matter how much sleep you get, you’re still tired. No matter how much you eat, you’re never full. Or you go days without eating and you’re still not hungry. You fall asleep crying and you wake up crying.

You pray for sleep so that you can stop thinking about how you’re going to get through the day. You dream of him and reach for him, waking up only to realize you’re the only one in bed.

You never knew you could be weighed down by so much sadness. The sheer exhaustion of carrying the burden of losing him is more than you can bear some days. Missing him is like homesickness in your very own living room. The feeling of anger and rejection is replaced by weariness. You feel crippled by grief.

There’s a bottomless well somewhere inside you that’s pumping fresh tears to your eyes at regular intervals. Just when you think you can’t cry anymore, something else sets you off and another box of tissue meets a timely end.

You are spent. When he walked out that door He not only stole your heart, he took every ounce of your joie de vivre with him.

Every action feels false as you try to get through the day. There’s a thin veneer over everything you do. Your face feels like it’s going to split from all the fake smiles you’ve pasted on… You want your old life back.

Hey, it’s not about him leaving. That’s not all this is about. It’s about that part of you he took when he left. That Kernel. Knowing that he’s walking around with your kernel and doesn’t even know it.

Everyone has been dumped. No ifs, or buts.

Whether you were dating for five months, living together for four years or married with three children, getting dumped means pain. Rejection is rejection, and whether you’re a teenager or a grandmother, it stings. But … what you do with the pain makes all the difference.

Think about it. You’ve survived a lot of things in your life – and you’re going to survive this, too. Maybe you won’t get over it right away but in order to get over it, you’re going to have to get used to it.

Joining the bittergirls… means opening yourself up to the possibility that things will get better, that life will go on, that you will not let yourself be defined by this break up.

A bittergirl soon discovers that she can be sad and wallow in self-pity for a while. She can be angry and vengeful for a bit, she can be malicious and spiteful and a pain in the ass, but when all is said and done, she’s the one who has to move on and up. And she will.

while reading, na-realize ko na normal lang pala lahat ng nangyayari sa akin the past few months. the fact na people are writing about it means na they also go through these experiences -- akala ko ako lang. saka si ching (hehe). pero marami pala kami.
and now i have finally accepted that i was dumped. although i was the one who walked away, i did that because he couldn't give me what i wanted, and that i finally realized na ako ang lugi sa sitwasyon namin. i could have stayed and settled for what he could offer, pero may natitira pa palang sanity sa akin, to know when to walk away.
but being dumped is not the worst that could happen to someone. it happens to anybody. and it's how you deal with this rejection that defines you as a person.
hay ang dami pang passages sa book na worth-sharing. next entry na lang masyado mahaba eh...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

waah.super relate ako.ganda ng mga posts mo!kudos.