Friday, October 23, 2009

don't rain on my parade...

possible ba na after twenty years, gusto mo pa rin iyong taong kinababaliwan mo noong bata ka? twenty years? yes, twenty years... on and off naman. hindi naman buong twenty years...

siguro iyong first three years iyong matindi... kasi first time mo ma in love. or dahil bata ka pa, hindi mo ginagamit ang utak mo...

and then, you fell out of love, tapos you fell in love with other guys... nagka-boyfriend, nagka-first date, nagka-first kiss. nagkaroon ng kung anu-anong firsts sa ibang tao. tapos nabrokenheart din. and na in love uli. ng maraming beses.

pero sa twenty years na iyun, may mga times na nakikita mo siya uli, nagkakausap kayo, tapos, parang walang nangyari, ikaw pa rin iyong babae noong una kayong nagkita -- baliw, tanga, kinikilig pa rin sa kanya. kahit na ang dami mo ng experience. kahit na angdami mo na nakita at nakilalang lalake na higit sa kanya -- pero pagdating sa kanya, kasi first love mo siya, wala, nakakalimutan mo ang lahat...

iyong kahit nasa 30s ka na, isang text or email lang niya, para kang teenager uli. iyong makita mo lang na inadd ka niya sa facebook, tapos wala kayong common friend, so it means hinahap ka niya talaga, hindi ka na makapagtrabaho ng normal...

iyong lahat ng tao, nagpe-pledge na para sa kasal niyo. may sasagot na ng gown, ng cake, ng choir, ng souvenir, ng invitation... kasi kapag kayo nagkatuluyan, magiging sobrang saya nila para sa iyo...

twenty years... single pa siya. single ka pa. pinagtatagpo kayo ng tadhana, paulit-ulit... kung kelan ayaw mo na, kung kelan give up ka na, biglang andyan na naman siya. di mo inaasahan. nakakaloka lang ang mga pangyayari...

oo nga at "in a relationship" ang status niya sa FB, oo nga at twenty years na siyang aware na baliw ka sa kanya at twenty years na naririndi ang mga kaibigan mo sa paulit-ulit na pagkwento mo tungkol sa kanya at sa mga defining moments na nangyari sa buhay niyo....

twenty years na ang habulan na ito... napapagod ka na. nakakasawa na. it's not that you put your life on hold for him... life goes on naman for you... nageenjoy ka sa buhay mo. nagtatrabaho ka. hindi ka naman pathetic na sa kanya lang talaga umiikot ang mundo mo. pero you admit na oo, after twenty years, he still has that effect on you...

di mo inaasahan. di mo naman hinihintay. oo, twenty years is a long time. twenty years!!! pero at the back of your mind, two words are flashing -- ayaw mo man isipin, ayaw mo man pansinin, pero a part of you still thinks, "malay mo...."

cue in music: "after all the stops and starts, we keep coming back to these two hearts... i guess it's meant to be, forever you and me, after all..."

3 comments:

ga said...

puwedeng magcomment???

tintin said...

Why do i get the feeling na hindi ito script sa isang soap?!
...hmmmm, parang imbes n dollar/peso sign ang nsa mata mo, puso, 2 pink n puso.

Niky Magblogging said...

dedicate ko nalang song na to sayo ms. noreen.

Say Goodnight and Go
by Imogen Heap

Say goodnight and go

Skipping beats, flashing jeeps
I am struggling
Daydreaming, been sitting, the corner cafe
And I'm left in bits, recovered tectonic, trembling
You get me everytime

Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

Follow you home
You've got your headphones on
And your dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot
You're taking everything off

Watch the curtains, wide open
And you fall in the same routine
Flicking through the TV
Relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone

Oh why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

One of these days
You'll miss your train, and come stay with me
It's always say goodnight and go
We'll have drinks and talk about things
And any excuse to stay awake with you
You'd sleep here, I'd sleep there
But then the heating may be down again
At my convenience
We'd be good, we'd be great together
Go

Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

Why is it always, always

Goodnight and Go

Goodnight and Go!