Tuesday, October 20, 2009

the ride with you was worth the fall...

"the ride with you was worth the fall," ang ym status ko for two weeks now. may naalala lang kasi ako...

few years ago, i went to enchanted kingdom with my high school friends. it was supposed to be a happy place but i was actually hurting inside. the day before kasi, something happened in my personal life that made me realize -- tama na, noreen, tapos na talaga. huwag mo na ipilit.

so despite the festive mood around me, silently, i was crying...

and then three days after, i wrote this in my old blog, "four days ng tahimik ang buhay ko... malungkot pero at least, tahimik. walang gulo. hindi siya isang space shuttle ride na fun at may ups and downs, at mapapasigaw ka talaga sa excitement at sorpresa. isa siyang swan lake o wheel of fate na ride... iisa lang ang takbo. expected. boring. pero smooth. after more than a year of rollercoaster of emotions, kailangan ko naman yata mamahinga muna. for my mental and emotional health."

and recently, kailangan ko hanapin ang blog entry na iyan...

once again, napakinabangan ko na naman ang mga nangyari sa buhay ko. once again, nagamit ko na naman sa script ang mga salitang sinabi ko noon...

mula sa episodic na your song, hanggang sa naging series, tapos iyong my only hope, tapos ngayon -- lahat ng mga eksena at dialogue na sinulat ko, based on my experience.

i said this before, i'd say this again -- lahat ng bagay may dahilan...

kaya pala sobrang nasaktan ako dati. kaya pala naging sobrang madrama ang buhay ko. kasi magagamit ko siya sa mga sinusulat ko... it wasn't clear to me then... but now, alam ko na...

what i had with the guy was a bad rollercoaster ride. nakakatakot ang pagtaas at pagbagsak. unexpected ang twists and turns.

he and i didn't end up together... and i have to admit, he gave me my worst heartache. pero okay lang. no regrets. kasi sabi nga ni mareng whitney houston, "the ride with you was worth the fall, my friend..."

so kung ikaw ay hurting ngayon, kung hindi mo maintindihan why sad and bad things are happening in your life, hintayin mo lang -- may dahilan iyan. at malalaman mo rin kung ano ang dahilan in a few days, or weeks, or months, or in my case -- years.

2 comments:

ihcahieh said...

I have to agree with this one, although I think it applies to anything in general, not just sad heartaches. Every time something happens in my life that I can't explain, I choose not to ask why, kasi alam ko darating din yung sagot some time in the future. And most of the time it's really surprising. And nakakaaliw minsan. Parang everything just falls into place. =P

Niky Magblogging said...

haay. I'm waiting for everything to fall into place.