Sunday, November 27, 2011

big C sucks

a colleague succumbed to breast cancer yesterday. even though we weren't close, i am greatly affected with the news.

i met kune in 2008. we were together in the fantaserye soap, my first soap in primetime. her smiles and laughter were infectious. she was very warm and friendly, and amusing. although we didn't stay long in the soap, and we never had the chance to work together after that, bumping into her at the network had always been fun.

last year, nagulat ako when i saw her kasi she lost a lot of weight. i asked her how she did that and she said "no meat. puro fruits and vegetables lang na organic." clueless ako. akala ko nagda-diet lang siya. claring told me she had a lump in her breast kaya she was eating organic food na lang and losing weight. pero sabi naman, gumagaling na siya. so hindi na kami nag-worry about her.

a few months ago, she posted pictures on her fb -- pictures of her travel in paris, rome, and other european cities. maybe she knew her time was running out so she lived her life to the fullest.

earlier this week, i asked another colleague kung kumusta na si kune. i learned kune was on a leave because her condition worsened. ang sabi, ayaw daw ni kune na magpabisita... at kahapon nga, nagising ako sa mga text messages about her death.

two to three years ago, i have been hearing about a friend or a colleague's parent's battle with cancer. my tatay had cancer. my friend danica's father died of cancer. a co-writer's dad had lung cancer and another co-writer's mom has breast cancer. this year, we learned that two of my close friends' fathers have cancer.

umabot na kami sa edad na halos lahat ng kakilala at kaibigan ko, may kamag-anak na nagka-cancer.

i never expected na darating ang panahon na iyong mismong kakilala ko at kaibigan, iyong nakakasama ko sa trabaho, iyun ang magiging biktima ng cancer.

nakakatakot. nakaka-praning.

a few years ago, i bought a book on sale about breast cancer. hindi ko tinuloy ang pagbasa dahil naiyak na ako at natakot. pero iyun yata ang realidad eh -- ang cancer ngayon, parang lagnat na lang. kahit sino puwedeng tamaan. at kung may magulang ka na nagka-cancer na, mas dapat ka nang kabahan.

i was with claring and jan earlier, talking about cancer, and death and sickness. napag-usapan namin what happened to me nine to ten years ago -- a doctor found cysts in my ovaries. i almost had a major surgery. nagpa-second opinion ako. definitely may cysts but hindi naman kailangan ng surgery agad. buti nadala sa dasal at sa gamot.

that was eight years ago... nasa early 20s lang ako. am in my 30s now. before my aneurysm, i hadn't been living healthy. i hadn't been taking good care of my health. i only quit smoking when my father was diagnosed with lung cancer.

when you're in your 20s, you don't think about these things. pero when you grow older, when you see colleagues and friends die of cancer, that's the time na napapaisip ka about your own life.

nalulungkot ako for kune. i learned from another friend's blog na ayaw pa ni kune mamatay. marami pa siyang gustong gawin.

sino ba naman gustong mamatay? hindi ko maimagine kung ano pakiramdam na gusto mo pa makasama ang mga mahal mo sa buhay, pero hindi na kaya ng katawan mo...

pero siguro hanggang doon na lang si kune. kaya sinulit niya ang mga nalalabing oras niya... siguro, na-fulfill na niya lahat ng purpose niya sa mundong ito.

as for me, i was given a second chance to live... hindi ko sasayangin iyun... kaya i will be making an appointment with an ob gyne next week...

2 comments:

MSY said...

yes please do. you owe it to your loved ones. sabi rin ni rose papa-check up din siya. pero sana wag na niyang hintayin matapos ang show niya para gawin yun.

Anonymous said...

Dear Noringai,

Huling sisig na natin 'yung kanina eveeer. Let us support each other in sticking to a healthier lifestyle. We owe it to ourselves. We owe it to our loved ones.

Ay wait, yun din pala ang sinabi ni MSY. Kasi tama siya!

Claring