Thursday, July 18, 2013

still...

sa tuwing napapanaginipan ko ang isang ex or lalaking i got involved with in the past, iyung explicit na panaginip na may ginagawa kaming kahalayan (haha), ang kasunod noon -- malalaman ko na may bago na siyang dyowa or kinasal na siya.

it happened twice in year 2003. madalas din mangyari with C. napapanaginipan ko siya. tapos mababalitaan ko, may bago siyang girlfriend.

this week, i told claring and rose that i dreamed about C. "napanaginipan ko, nagse-sex kami!"

naloka si claring. ako naman, kinabahan."shet. ikakasal na ba si C finally?"

***

C is in my books. sa book 1, naka tatlo ata ako. sa book 2, isa. and nasa acknowledgment siya. hindi ko lang nilagay ang name niya. i just said, "para sa lalaking laman ng diary ko buong high school, chorva chorva." siya ang dahilan bakit nahasa writing skills ko. bakit ako naging senti. bakit ganito ako magsulat. siya ang dahilan kung bakit ako naging writer. kaya sinabi ko na rin, alam ko na ang purpose niya sa buhay ko. hindi para makatuluyan ko, kundi para maging daan sa pagiging tv writer at book author ko.


***

"book author ka na!" sabi sakin ni alessandra noong huling chikahan namin. she was supposed to do the cover. na pressure siya. "ako pa naman, i judge the book by its cover..." she said. pero grateful ako na despite her busy sked, siningit pa niya ito.

kaso the publisher wants this rushed. at ayaw ni alessandara madaliin dahil baka ma-compromise ang quality. so sabi ko sa third book na lang siya. but still, nakaka-touch na sobrang willing siya to do this for me... for free! she even bought books as her guide sa pag-drawing.

i'm also grateful that direk joey wrote the foreword. sa sinulat pa lang niya, sulit na ang ibabayad ng bibili ng libro ko. kahit yung kanya na lang ang basahin nila, hindi na iyung libro ko. lol.

***

"it's you, it's still you.. it's always you..."

yan ang isa sa naging usapan namin ni alex. napag-usapan kasi namin si geena rallos. dialogue niya yan.

ilang beses din namin napag-usapan ang tinweet ko na "the love we can't have is the love that lasts the longest and hurts the most..."

***

i told her something na hindi ko sinasabi to anyone and only my close friends know. i told her about crispy pata guy and the things that happened last year. i told her about my the one that got away who came back and we finally had a closure.

"as in wala na? tapos na?" she asked.

"wala na. yun lang yung kailangan namin... closure. tapos, talagang the end na."

***

no, crispy pata guy is not included in any of my books. hindi siya dapat kinukuwento. walang dapat may alam tungkol sa kanya...

"may regrets ka?" alex asked.

"i don't regret it, but i'm not proud of it," i told her.

***

september 15, may book signing ata. sa manila international book fair sa moa smx convention. hindi ko alam kung may book launch pa prior to the book fair.

***

shameless plugging: please follow @parangperohindi sa twitter. thank you :)

***

advance happy birthday, alessandra de rossi. nasabi ko na lahat dito ang gusto ko sabihin about you. and after our talk the other night, mas lalo kitang minahal. salamat sa pakikinig sa kuwento ko, without judgment.

kahit bihira tayo magkita, kahit ilang buwan tayong hindi nagkakausap, kapag nagkasama tayo, it's as though hindi tayo nagkahiwalay ng matagal... it's always fun to talk with you.

happy birthday!

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